a {belated} tribute to my beautiful mama.

Last Sunday (Mother's Day) I had the opportunity to speak in church about my mom and how I feel about motherhood. It was a wonderful experience!

Various family and friends have requested a copy of it, so I thought it would be easier to post it on here complete with pictures!

Read it and weep. I know I did!

My mom told me that if I make her cry during my talk, then she would come up here and spank me, so I’m crossing my fingers that she'll be able to keep it together! 

Earlier this week I stood in the greeting card aisle of Shopko for a good thirty minutes trying to find a decent card to give my mom. I picked up and read nearly every card, finding myself extremely dissatisfied. Each card I picked up seemed so inadequate in expressing the love I have for my mother.

How do you put into words the love you have for the woman who carried you in her belly for 9 months, the woman who changed your diapers, and did load after load of laundry? The woman who taught you to brush your teeth, tie your shoes, to read, to love chocolate and to love good music…like Journey? How do you put into words the love you have for the woman who taught you about Jesus Christ, who taught you to pray, who taught you faith, love, compassion, long-suffering, patience, and charity?

I have realized that no Hallmark greeting card, no bouquet of flowers, no amount of hugs, or “I love you’s,” and not even this talk will ever be sufficient to describe how much I love my sweet mom and how grateful I am for all she has taught me and all she has sacrificed for me.

A year and a half ago I sat in a hospital room alone with my mom, as she lay in the bed comatose and for the most part, unresponsive. As I sat there holding her hand, memories of my childhood and teenage years flooded my mind. While many of the memories were pleasant, I was overcome with guilt and regret for all the times I had been impatient with her, yelled at her, ignored her advice, or not helped her when she needed it. For all the times I was disobedient, crabby, and unappreciative of all she had done for me. I sat there wishing I could take it all back. Start all over and take back the sassy, rude comments, the arrogance, and the lack of gratitude.

In that moment of grief and despair at the thought of losing my mother without having the chance to ask for her forgiveness, I was overcome with sorrow and regret. The tears streamed down my face and I prayed to my Heavenly Father that somehow I could receive her forgiveness. In what is now one of the most beautiful and sacred moments of my life, my mother squeezed my hand three times, which in our family means, “I love you.” In that moment, I knew she had forgiven me. I knew she loved me. I knew that no matter what was going to transpire in the upcoming days, that she would always be with me, whether in the flesh or in the spirit. I knew that she loved me. And I was at peace. I promised my mom, my Heavenly Father, and myself that if He would bless us with a miracle, if she would come out of the coma, then I would spend the rest of my life serving, loving, and doing all that I could to help her.

Four days later Heavenly Father gave us our miracle. Against all odds, and contrary to what the doctors told us, she came out of the coma, had her breathing tube removed, and was singing Journey songs without skipping a beat.

That entire experience was one of the most heart-wrenching and emotional things I think I will ever go through. As cliché as it sounds, I realized that we cannot wait until it’s too late to show our love for our mothers. We must do it now.  

So how do we show our love for our mothers? In his talk, Behold Thy Mother, President Thomas S. Monson declared one way that we can show love for our mothers is by living the truths they so patiently taught. We can be kind, loving, forgiving, compassionate, charitable, prayerful, and so many more things we are taught through word and deed by our mothers.

We should love, honor, respect, remember, and cherish our mothers. Perhaps the greatest example of love for a mother is in the example of Our Savior, Jesus Christ. Later in his talk, President Monson said,  

"The Holy Scriptures, the pages of history are replete with tender, moving, convincing accounts of “mother loved.” One, however, stands out supreme, above and beyond any other. The place is Jerusalem, the period known as the Meridian of Time. Assembled is a throng of Roman soldiers. Their helmets signify their loyalty to Caesar, their shields bear his emblem, their spears are crowned by Roman eagles. Assembled also are natives to the land of Jerusalem. Faded into the still night, and gone forever are the militant and rowdy cries, “Crucify him, crucify him.”

The hour has come. The personal earthly ministry of the Son of God moves swiftly to its dramatic conclusion. A certain loneliness is here. Nowhere to be found are the lame beggars who, because of this man, walk; the deaf who, because of this man, hear; the blind who, because of this man, see; the dead who, because of this man, live.

There remained yet a few faithful followers. From his tortured position on the cruel cross, he sees his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing by. He speaks: “… woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! …” (John 19:26–27.)

From that awful night when time stood still, when the earth did quake and great mountains were brought down—yes, through the annals of history, over the centuries of years and beyond the span of time, there echoes his simple yet divine words, “Behold thy mother!”

Elder Bradley D. Foster also recounted this story and said,

“As in all things, the Savior set the perfect example in the love He showed for His earthly mother. In the final, most pivotal moment of His mortal life—after the anguish of Gethsemane, the mock trial, the crown of thorns, the heavy cross to which He was brutally nailed—Jesus looked down from the cross and saw His mother, Mary, who had come to be with her Son. His final act of love before He died was to ensure that His mother would be cared for, saying to His disciple, “Behold thy mother!” And from that point on the disciple took her unto his home. As the scriptures say, then Jesus knew that “all things were now accomplished,” and He bowed His head and died (see John 19:27–28, 30).”

As we follow this command to, “Behold thy mother,” we will be blessed beyond measure.

A mother’s love has a power unlike anything else. A mother’s love is unconditional. It is eternal. And perhaps the reason we as humans are so responsive to a mother’s love is because it is so similar to the love of our Savior. 

As President Joseph F. Smith said,

“The love of a true mother comes nearer [to] being like the love of God than any other kind of love.”

As I look back on my life and how my relationship with my mother has evolved, I just have to laugh.

As infants we depend on our mothers for life. As toddlers and young children our mothers seem like superheroes that we want to be just like. Through middle and late childhood we see our mothers as more of a taxi, chef, or maid than as a mother. Through our teenage years we want nothing to do with our mothers and cannot wait to have that diploma in hand and run off to college, never to return again. Yet, our mother's love is always there. 

And after the first week of college, we are calling our mom in tears telling her how much we miss her and how homesick we are. As we continue to grow older and I assume as we have children of our own we begin to see our mothers as superheroes again. We wonder how on earth they did it and how on earth they put up with us. How they managed to get the kids off to school, the laundry done, the house clean, dinner on the table, and all the kids to their different activities throughout the week, and then get the kids in bed at a decent time.

Last month I had the opportunity to watch three of my cousins for a week while my aunt and uncle went to Hawaii. Now, I have done my fair share of babysitting, but I was in no way prepared for the chaos I was about to experience while watching these kids. I am by no means a morning person. Yet I was waking up at 6:45 every morning to get the kids up for school, showered, hair brushed, breakfast eaten, lunches made, teeth brushed, and out the door just in time to make it to school. The rest of my day consisted of laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, making dinner, chasing the dog after he ran away three times, and trying to prepare myself emotionally for the chaos that would ensue once the kids got home from school. Once the kids were home from school it was time for a snack, homework, reading, dinner, baseball practice a few rounds of hide and seek, and then the dreadful and difficult task of trying getting the kids to go to bed at a semi-decent time.

By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted and didn’t know how I was going to get up do it all again the next day. Thankfully, I survived. Seven days. That’s all it was. Seven days. And I was exhausted. My mom has been a mother for 23 years. I don’t know how she did it and how she continues to do so. Every day I am grateful for my mother and all the long days and sleepless nights she has endured for me. **detailed blogpost about this experience coming soon**

The role of a mother is a divine calling from our Heavenly Father. However, we need not have children of our own to be mothers. As women, we have a responsibility to be mothers to everyone around us.

Sister Sheri Dew said,

“As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to value women of God if we don’t show them the virtue of our virtues?”

Whether we are mothers or not, we must teach, love, serve, and model what righteous women of God are.

Sister Dew later said,

“Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.”

As women, we are daughters of our loving Heavenly Father with a solemn responsibility to care for, nurture, and love and teach those children around us, whether they are our own or not. We were born to be mothers; to be mothers in Zion. Motherhood is the essence of who we are as women.

Let us strive to be mothers to all around us.

Sisters, It is my prayer that as daughters of our Heavenly Father we will fulfill the calling we have each been given to be mothers to everyone. And to the brethren, it is my prayer that you might teach your children to love, respect, and honor their mothers.

As Sister Elaine S. Dalton, said,

“How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today’s increasingly toxic world? The answer has been taught by the Lord’s prophets. It is a simple answer, and it is true—‘The most important thing a father can do for his [daughter] is to love [her] mother.’ By the way you love her mother, you will teach your daughters about tenderness, loyalty, respect, compassion, and devotion. She will learn from your example what to expect from young men and what qualities to seek in a future spouse. You can show your daughter by the way you love and honor your wife that she should never settle for less. Your example will teach your daughter to value womanhood. You are showing her that she is a daughter of our Heavenly Father, who loves her.”

I thank my Heavenly Father every day that he has blessed me with a loving father and mother who love, honor, and respect each other. I am grateful for all that my sweet mother has taught me. She has taught me unconditional love, long-suffering, patience in trial, and never-ending faith.

One of my favorite quotes is by Abraham Lincoln. He said,

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

I hope that someday I will be able to be even half the angel mother that my mom is.

Happy Mother’s Day! 

I love you Mom!!


P.S. My mom did cry, but she did not walk all the way up to the pulpit to spank me in front of everyone (thank goodness), she waited until after church and then gave me a good spank!