Sometimes, we do really dumb things.

Since our journey over to India there have been (too) many times when Mary and I have made complete FOOLS of ourselves. We call these dumb American moments. They happen all too frequently , but make us laugh nonetheless. So here is the long awaited (or not) list of why Mary and I are dumb Americans. They are in chronological order of our stay here starting with Mumbai, then Lonavala, Mumbai again, and then Jaipur. So here we go. I'm sure this wont be our only post about us being dumb, so you can look forward to more.

1. Mistaking the bathroom for the living room at the apartment. I don't know how it happened it just did.

2. Mary fell down the stairs in McDonald's...and I tried to save her from behind, but grabbed her glasses instead. . . . . . .and then some nice Indian men helped her up. The fact that she fell down the stairs is even funnier because we already attract enough attention by being. . . . well, white. Not the most politically correct way of putting things, but it's true. 

3. We could not figure out for the life of us how to turn on the lights/ air conditioning in our hotel room in Lonavala. We tried every switch in the room with no success. So, I called down to the front desk and told them that we didn't have any power in our room. Apparently there was a little key slot behind the door that you have to put the key into to get power in the room. Who knew?! They even sent someone up to our room to help. Embarrassing! Really, it's a genius idea. Then lights don't get left on when people aren't in their rooms. Mary and I are just too dumb to figure it out. 

4. Calling down to the front desk at the hotel in Lonavala 53928 billion times because we couldn't get the wifi to work. Apparently you had to be in the lobby for it to work, and apparently you can only have one device using it at a time. Duhhhh.

5. Running out of one-ply toilet paper in our hotel room on the first day in Lonavala. Apparently you are supposed to use the bum sprayer more, and the toilet paper less. Yeah. . . . . . Not going to happen. And I mean come on, it's ONE-PLY TOILET PAPER. I'm pretty sure gift wrap tissue paper could have done a 739494 times better job. 

6. In the apartment we stayed at in Mumbai (Puneet and Seema's home) we could not get hot water in the shower. So we just figured there was no hot water, thus taking cold showers every morning. But apparently there was hot water, we are just dumb Americans that don't know how to use a shower. 

7. Two words. Trash. Can. Do they even exist?! We searched high and low in Puneet's apartment, and then finally found what looked like a trash can (a bucket) and used that. We'll never know if it was a trash can or not. We were just being innovative. . . . Yeah, that's it innovative. Not dumb Americans at all. 

8. Having our cameras out at all times, and in all things, and in all places as we strive to look as touristy as possible. 

9. We already attract enough attention, but when we start feeding a cow on the side of the road, it just creates a whole new commotion. We're pretty good at that. 

10. Sometimes Mary and I try to perfect our Indian accents. The only problem is, most the time we end up sounding British, Mexican, Chinese. . . . Or none of the above. Yikes. 

11. When we eat meals with my extended family, there are French fries, puris, naan, and other very mild carb type foods that are brought to us with the explanation of, "Not spicy." At the luncheon with my family, they brought us these fried chip things with no spices or anything on them. They set the whole plate down in front of us and said, "You keep this here, no one else will want these." Curse our sensitive taste buds! (Mostly Mary's). 

12. At a textile shop/factory yesterday, I was getting fitted for a saree. Mary went to casually sit on the couch that was in front of all the saree fabric, when she happened to knock over my bottle of coke nearly spilling it on the pure silk fabrics. The owner freaked out. . . . and we all felt really awkward. Oopsies. 

13. On our elephant ride yesterday, there were these men following us all the way up the fort trying to sell us a variety of things. From fancy umbrellas, and sparkly pens, to elephant table cloth things. I really liked. The elephant table cloth and it was hand stitched. Seema told us when bartering to ask for the best price, and then offer half of that. Since we are Americans (and look like it) people think they can rip us off. So the guy with the elephant tablecloth offered 3000 rupees. So I offered 1500 rupees. He went on and on how it was hand stitched and offered 2500, 2200, 1800 rupees and so on, until finally I got him down to 1500. Mary and I both bought one for 1500 rupees and thought we were just the greatest bargain shoppers EVER. After our elephant ride we met up with grandpa and our guide for the day. They asked how much we spent on the table cloth things, and told them 1500. They laughed, told us we got ripped off and could have gotten it for 700 rupees, maybe even 500 rupees, and then grandpa told us we weren't allowed to buy anything else without him there. Then to make it worse, our guide told us that the stitching wasn't even good. Oops. Lesson learned. )For reference, the exchange rate for rupees to US dollars is currently 59.1 rupees per US dollar).

14. Last night after a long day of sight seeing and shopping in Jaipur we all were looking forward to laying down once we got back to the hotel. The only problem was, we couldn't get our key card to open the door....all three of us tried it each about 7-10 times with no luck. So Mary and I went down to the desk to have the, reset it for us. They reset it for us, but we still couldn't get it to work! We all tried it a few more times, and finally one of us got it. You see, the card at to be put in at a really weird angle and going upwards, so it was really hard to do, okay?!?

And that's all for now.....we definitely are learning lots being here. You can look forward to another dumb Americans post sometime soon, I'm sure!